Three questions by Leo Tolstoy

IT once occurred to a certain king, that if he always knew the right time to begin everything; if he knew who were the right people to listen to, and whom to avoid, and, above all, if he always knew what was the most important thing to do, he would never fail in anything he might undertake.

And this thought having occurred to him, he had it proclaimed throughout his kingdom that he would give a great reward to any one who would teach him what was the right time for every action, and who were the most necessary people, and how he might know what was the most important thing to do.

And learned men came to the King, but they all answered his questions differently.

In reply to the first question, some said that to know the right time for every action, one must draw up in advance, a table of days, months and years, and must live strictly according to it. Only thus, said they, could everything be done at its proper time. Others declared that it was impossible to decide beforehand the right time for every action; but that, not letting oneself be absorbed in idle pastimes, one should always attend to all that was going on, and then do what was most needful. Others, again, said that however attentive the King might be to what was going on, it was impossible for one man to decide correctly the right time for every action, but that he should have a Council of wise men, who would help him to fix the proper time for everything.

But then again others said there were some things which could not wait to be laid before a Council, but about which one had at once to decide whether to undertake them or not. But in order to decide that one must know beforehand what was going to happen. It is only magicians who know that; and, therefore in order to know the right time for every action, one must consult magicians.

Equally various were the answers to the second question. Some said, the people the King most needed were his councillors; others, the priests; others, the doctors; while some said the warriors were the most necessary.

To the third question, as to what was the most important occupation: some replied that the most important thing in the world was science. Others said it was skill in warfare; and others, again, that it was religious worship.

All the answers being different, the King agreed with none of them, and gave the reward to none. But still wishing to find the right answers to his questions, he decided to consult a hermit, widely renowned for his wisdom.

The hermit lived in a wood which he never quitted and he received none but common folk. So the King put on simple clothes, and before reaching the hermit's cell dismounted from his horse, and, leaving his bodyguard behind, went on alone.

When the King approached, the hermit was digging the ground in front of his hut. Seeing the King, he greeted him and went on digging. The hermit was frail and weak, and each time he stuck his spade into the ground and turned a little earth, he breathed heavily.

The King went up to him and said: 'I have come to you, wise hermit, to ask you to answer three questions: How can I learn to do the right thing at the right time? Who are the people I most need, and to whom should I, therefore, pay more attention than to the rest? And, what affairs are the most important and need my first attention?'

The hermit listened to the King, but answered nothing. He just spat on his hand and recommenced digging.

'You are tired,' said the King, 'let me take the spade and work awhile for you.'

'Thanks!' said the hermit, and, giving the spade to the King, he sat down on the ground.

When he had dug two beds, the King stopped and repeated his questions. The hermit again gave no answer, but rose, stretched out his hand for the spade, and said:

'Now rest awhile -- and let me work a bit.'

But the King did not give him the spade, and continued to dig. One hour passed, and another. The sun began to sink behind the trees, and the King at last stuck the spade into the ground, and said:

'I came to you, wise man, for an answer to my questions. If you can give me none, tell me so, and I will return home.'

'Here comes some one running,' said the hermit, 'let us see who it is.'

The King turned round, and saw a bearded man come running out of the wood. The man held his hands pressed against his stomach, and blood was flowing from under them. When he reached the King, he fell fainting on the ground moaning feebly. The King and the hermit unfastened the man's clothing. There was a large wound in his stomach. The King washed it as best he could, and bandaged it with his handkerchief and with a towel the hermit had. But the blood would not stop flowing, and the King again and again removed the bandage soaked with warm blood, and washed and rebandaged the wound. When at last the blood ceased flowing, the man revived and asked for something to drink. The King brought fresh water and gave it to him. Meanwhile the sun had set, and it had become cool. So the King, with the hermit's help, carried the wounded man into the hut and laid him on the bed. Lying on the bed the man closed his eyes and was quiet; but the King was so tired with his walk and with the work he had done, that he crouched down on the threshold, and also fell asleep -- so soundly that he slept all through the short summer night. When he awoke in the morning, it was long before he could remember where he was, or who was the strange bearded man lying on the bed and gazing intently at him with shining eyes.

'Forgive me!' said the bearded man in a weak voice, when he saw that the King was awake and was looking at him.

'I do not know you, and have nothing to forgive you for,' said the King.

'You do not know me, but I know you. I am that enemy of yours who swore to revenge himself on you, because you executed his brother and seized his property. I knew you had gone alone to see the hermit, and I resolved to kill you on your way back. But the day passed and you did not return. So I came out from my ambush to find you, and I came upon your bodyguard, and they recognized me, and wounded me. I escaped from them, but should have bled to death had you not dressed my wound. I wished to kill you, and you have saved my life. Now, if I live, and if you wish it, I will serve you as your most faithful slave, and will bid my sons do the same. Forgive me!'

The King was very glad to have made peace with his enemy so easily, and to have gained him for a friend, and he not only forgave him, but said he would send his servants and his own physician to attend him, and promised to restore his property.

Having taken leave of the wounded man, the King went out into the porch and looked around for the hermit. Before going away he wished once more to beg an answer to the questions he had put. The hermit was outside, on his knees, sowing seeds in the beds that had been dug the day before.

The King approached him, and said:

'For the last time, I pray you to answer my questions, wise man.'

'You have already been answered!' said the hermit still crouching on his thin legs, and looking up at the King, who stood before him.

'How answered? What do you mean?' asked the King.

'Do you not see,' replied the hermit. 'If you had not pitied my weakness yesterday, and had not dug these beds for me, but had gone your way, that man would have attacked you, and you would have repented of not having stayed with me. So the most important time was when you were digging the beds; and I was the most important man; and to do me good was your most important business. Afterwards, when that man ran to us, the most important time was when you were attending to him, for if you had not bound up his wounds he would have died without having made peace with you. So he was the most important man, and what you did for him was your most important business. Remember then: there is only one time that is important -- Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life!'

Is Nirvana Nothingness

One thing which people mistake is thinking of Nirvana as a state of Nothingness but instead as per Buddha Nirvana is ultimate happiness and till any one experiences Nirvana he cannot explain what Nirvana is a Buddhist story of a fish and a turtle clearly explains this.

Once upon a time a fish lived in a pond as it was a fish it had seen nothing but water once while swimming she saw a turtle having heard that the turtle has come from land she was inquistive about knowing how land is.

Fish asked the turtle "Mr. Turtle I have heard you have seen land" the turtle gently replied in agreement and told her that yes he had return from dry land.

The fish asked"What do you mean by dry there is nothing dry".The turtle said "If you want to think so, of course you may; there is no one who can hinder you. But that's where I've been"

Fish was not believing and asked again "Common talk sense. Just tell me now what is this land of yours like? Is it all wet?"

Tutrtle said "no it's not wet"

"Is it nice and fresh and cool?" asked the fish.

"No, it is not nice and fresh and cool," the trutle replied.

"Is it clear so that light can come through it?"

"No, it is not clear. Light cannot come through it."

"Is it soft and yielding, so that I can move my fins about in it and push my nose through it?"

"No, it is not soft and yielding. You could not swim in it."

"Does it move or flow in streams?"

"No, it neither moves nor flows in streams."

the fish triumphantly exclaimed"Didn't I tell you that this land of yours was just nothing? I have just asked, and you have answered me that it is neither wet nor cool, not clear nor soft and that it does not flow.And if it isn't a single one of these things what else is it but nothing? "

the turtle replied "If you are determined to think that dry land is nothing, I suppose you must just go on thinking so. But any one who knows what is water and what is land would say you are wrong.for you thinking that anything you have never known is nothing just because you have never known it. is wrong"

Just because we don't know or haven't experienced Nirvana doesn't mean it's nothingness but actually it the state of ultimate happiness that comes due to the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished.

Delete the negative and accentuate the positive

When I was in college saw many friends start drinking and smoking just because some other friends did it,this led to their addiction that day I realized never to take a negativity even if it's from my best friend also take the positive behaviour of even your worst enemy.

Two stories each an allegory for why should we dissipate negativity and inculcate positivity

(1)There lived an old man in far land who used to meditate each morning

One morning, after he had finished his meditation, the old man opened his eyes and saw a scorpion floating helplessly in the water. As the scorpion was washed closer to the tree, the old man quickly stretched himself out on one of the long roots that branched out into the river and reached out to rescue the drowning creature. As soon as he touched it, the scorpion stung him. Instinctively the man withdrew his hand. A minute later, after he had regained his balance, he stretched himself out again on the roots to save the scorpion. This time the scorpion stung him so badly with its poisonous tail that his hand became swollen and bloody and his face contorted with pain.

At that moment, a passerby saw the old man stretched out on the roots struggling with the scorpion and shouted: "Hey, stupid old man, what's wrong with you? Only a fool would risk his life for the sake of an ugly, evil creature. Don't you know you could kill yourself trying to save that ungrateful scorpion?"

The old man turned his head. Looking into the stranger's eyes he said calmly, "My friend, just because it is the scorpion's nature to sting, that does not change my nature to save."

Clearly the old man didn't want to inculcate the negativities of scorpion in himself

(2)After the Battle of Lanka was over and their laid Ravana defeated counting his last breaths Rama asked Lakshman to learn from Politics,Philosphy and Kingship from Ravana. 

The story goes that after firing the fatal arrow on the battlefield of Lanka, Ram told his brother, Lakshman, “Go to Ravan quickly before he dies and request him to share whatever knowledge he can. A brute he may be, but he is also a great scholar.”  The obedient Lakshman rushed across the battlefield to Ravan’s side and whispered in his ears, “Demon-king, do not let your knowledge die with you. Share it with us and wash away your sins.”  Ravan responded by simply turning away. An angry Lakshman went back to Ram, “He is as arrogant as he always was, too proud to share anything.” Ram comforted his brother and asked him softly, “Where did you stand while asking Ravan for knowledge?” “Next to his head so that I hear what he had to say clearly.” Ram smiled, placed his bow on the ground and walked to where Ravan lay. Lakshman watched in astonishment as his divine brother knelt at Ravan’s feet. With palms joined, with extreme humility, Ram said, “Lord of Lanka, you abducted my wife, a terrible crime for which I have been forced to punish you. Now, you are no more my enemy. I bow to you and request you to share your wisdom with me. Please do that for if you die without doing so, all your wisdom will be lost forever to the world.” To Lakshman’s surprise, Ravan opened his eyes and raised his arms to salute Ram, “If only I had more time as your teacher than as your enemy. Standing at my feet as a student should, unlike your rude younger brother, you are a worthy recipient of my knowledge. I have very little time so I cannot share much but let me tell you one important lesson I have learnt in my life. Things that are bad for you seduce you easily; you run towards them impatiently. But things that are actually good for you, fail to attract you; you shun them creatively, finding powerful excuses to justify your procrastination. That is why I was impatient to abduct Sita but avoided meeting you. This is the wisdom of my life, Ram. My last words. I give it to you.” With these words, Ravan died.

Clearly even the lord himself wanted the whole world to know that one should take positives even of our worst enemies

Just keep in mind that you have to delete the negative and accentuate the positive from you.

Nirvana Shatkam of Adi-Shankara

Atma shatkam or Nirvana Shatkam is a shloka in six stanzas written by the great Adi-Shankara (first Shankaracharya).He mastered the Vedas by the age of 6.When a young boy of eight (Adi Sankara), while wandering in the Himalayas, seeking to find his Guru, he encountered a sage who asked him, "Who are you?". The boy answered with these stanzas, which are known as "Nirvana Shatakam" or Atma Shatakam".

Nirvana Shatkam summarizes the basic teachings of Adaivata Vedanta of Adi-Shankara.In Nirvana Shatkam the speaker lists in the earlier verses what he (Brahman) is not. He is not body or mind, nor the things that attach them to each other and to the world, including the intellect, the senses, the practices of life, the occurrences of life such as birth and death. In the last verse he says that he permeates the universe, and that he is consciousness, bliss and the soul, and by implication, the Atman and Brahman.

Adaivata Vedantism taught about atman(true self; human soul) is indistinct from Brahman (the unknown reality of everything) and hence Adi-Shankara who consolidated vedantism sixth darshanam of sanatan philosophy said those who know the truth(Which he summarizes in Nirvana Shatkam) are the only brahmins rest all are shudra.

The verses of Nirvana Shatkam is as follows:

1)मनोबुद्धयहंकार चित्तानि नाहं, न च श्रोत्रजिव्हे न च घ्राणनेत्रे । न च व्योम भूमिर्न तेजो न वायुः, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम् ॥

Mano-Buddhy-Ahangkaara Cittaani Naaham,Na Ca Shrotra-Jihve Na Ca Ghraanna-Netre. Na Ca Vyoma Bhuumir-Na Tejo Na Vaayuh,Cid-Aananda-Ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham.

I am not mind, nor intellect, nor ego, nor the reflections of inner self (chitta). I am not the five senses. I am beyond that. I am not the ether, nor the earth, nor the fire, nor the wind (the five elements). I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

2)न च प्राणसंज्ञो न वै पंचवायुः, न वा सप्तधातुः न वा पञ्चकोशः । न वाक्पाणिपादं न चोपस्थपायु, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम् ॥

Na Ca Praanna-Samjnyo Na Vai Panca-Vaayuh,Na Vaa Sapta-Dhaatuh Na Vaa Pan.ca-Koshah.Na Vaak-Paanni-Paadam Na Copastha-Paayu,Cid-Aananda-Ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham.

Neither can I be termed as energy (prana), nor five types of breath (vayus), nor the seven material essences, nor the five coverings (pancha-kosha). Neither am I the five instruments of elimination, procreation, motion, grasping, or speaking. I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

3)न मे द्वेषरागौ न मे लोभमोहौ, मदो नैव मे नैव मात्सर्यभावः । न धर्मो न चार्थो न कामो न मोक्षः, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम्॥

Na Me Dvessa-Raagau Na Me Lobha-Mohau,Mado Naiva Me Naiva Maatsarya-Bhaavah. Na Dharmo Na Ca-Artho Na Kaamo Na Mokssah,Cid-Aananda-Ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham.

I have no hatred or dislike, nor affiliation or liking, nor greed, nor delusion, nor pride or haughtiness, nor feelings of envy or jealousy. I have no duty (dharma), nor any money, nor any desire (kama), nor even liberation (moksha). I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

4)न पुण्यं न पापं न सौख्यं न दुःखं, न मन्त्रो न तीर्थो न वेदा न यज्ञ । अहं भोजनं नैव भोज्यं न भोक्ता, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम्॥

Na Punnyam Na Paapam Na Saukhyam Na Duhkham,Na Mantro Na Tiirtho Na Vedo Na Yajnya.Aham Bhojanam Naiva Bhojyam Na Bhoktaa,Cid-Aananda-Ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham.

I have neither merit (virtue), nor demerit (vice). I do not commit sins or good deeds, nor have happiness or sorrow, pain or pleasure. I do not need mantras, holy places, scriptures (Vedas), rituals or sacrifices (yagnas).I am Neither Enjoyment (Experience), nor an object to be Enjoyed (Experienced), nor the Enjoyer (Experiencer). I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

5)न मे मृत्युशंका न मे जातिभेदः, पिता नैव मे नैव माता न जन्मः । न बन्धुर्न मित्रं गुरूर्नैव शिष्यः, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम॥

Na Mrtyur-Na Shangkaa Na Me Jaati-Bhedah,Pitaa Naiva Me Naiva Maataa Na Janmah.Na Bandhurna Mitram Gurur-Na-Iva Shissyam,Cid-Aananda-Ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham.

I do not have fear of death, as I do not have death. I have no separation from my true self, no doubt about my existence, nor have I discrimination on the basis of birth. I have no father or mother, nor did I have a birth. I am not the relative, nor the friend, nor the guru, nor the disciple. I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

6)अहं निर्विकल्पो निराकार रूपो, विभुत्वाच सर्वत्र सर्वेन्द्रियाणाम् । न चासङत नैव मुक्तिर्न मेयः, चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम्॥

Aham Nirvikalpo Niraakaara-Ruupo,Vibhu-Tvaacca Sarvatra Sarve[a-I]ndriyaannaam.Na Caa-Sanggatam Naiva Muktirna Meyah,Cid-aananda-ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham.

I am all pervasive. I am without any attributes, and without any form. I have neither attachment to the world, nor to liberation (mukti). I have no wishes for anything because I am everything, everywhere, every time, always in equilibrium. I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Shivam), love and pure consciousness.

The seven material essences:Marrow,Bone,fat,flesh,blood,inner skin,outerskin.
The five coverings:Anatomical,physiological,mental,intellectual,bliss .
The five organs of action:Speech,hands,legs,genital organs,anus.
The four purpose of life:Dharma,arth,Kama,Moksha
The five Vayus:Prana Vayu:The Breath of Vitality,Vyana Vayu:The Breath of Integration,Udana Vayu:The Breath of Ascent,Samana Vayu:The Breath of Balance,Apana Vayu:The Anchoring Breat

Karma -The Inseparable

This is a story from Agama Sutras Buddha's early sermons:
Once there was a man who had four wives. The man grew old and became ill. When he was dying he felt lonely and asked his first wife whom he loved the most to accompany him to life after death. He asked her “My beloved wife I took care of you each day throughout my life .Now I'm going to die, will you come to wherever I go after death?"
He thought the answer would be a yes but it wasn't she replied “My dear, I know you took great care of me and you are going to die now it's time for both of us two separate. Goodbye"
Listening to this he was shocked but then he called his second wife for whom he was always worried as he could have easily lost her but managed to stick with her till the very end. He asked her the same question and she replied "You loved me because of your own selfishness then how can I follow you in death"
After first and second wife he called his third wife and asked the same question but she replied with tears in her eyes "My love, I’m sad that you will die but can accompany you till graveyard not in your death"
Now only his four wife was left who he never cared about he was sure that she will deny his offer but due to fear of loneliness he dared to ask her and to his pleasant surprise she replied "My dear, I can never be separated from you i will come with you wherever you go after your death"
Buddha then explains the story:
The first wife is your body of whom you daily take care but as you die your body is burnt to ashes.
The second wife is your material possession, fame and wealth. You fear of it being lost but ultimately after your death you are going to lose it.
The third wife is your relative they can grieve at your death but even they will leave you at graveyard.
The fourth wife is your Karma of whom you never take care in your whole life but that's the only thing that will accompany you.
Moral: We can't separated from our Karma

Sanatandharma and modern philosophy of religion

Sanatandharma is by far the most complex and most easy religion to understand due to its flexibility though in vedic times it was set of rules or laws that governed universe modern rigidity has transformed it into a "Relgion".

You may be a Theist or atheist, monotheist or polytheist,  sanyaasi or materialist  you are accepted in sanatandharma this makes it very confusing for its followers of different philosophies and hence very complex but this is the very reason which makes it even more easy to follow not depending on which philosophy of Religion you follow you will still be governed by an "eternal law"(Sanatandharama).Now let us discuss how modern philosophies of religion are considered in Sanatandharma.

First of all the most contentious in "modern Hinduism" atheism let me take a verse from Rig Veda to discuss this philosophy:   "truly? Who can here declare it? Whence it was born, whence is this emanation. By the emanation of this the gods only latter [came to be].Who then knows whence it has arisen? Whence this emanation hath arisen, whether [god] disposed it, or whether he did not. Only he who is its overseer in the highest heaven knows. [He only knows]or perhaps  he does not know"   this verse is clear agnosticism if not atheism where he ask certain questions and doubts about god. Even amongst the six darshanams of Sanatan philosophy Samkhya is clearly atheistic and is based on innate interdependence of purush(man) and prakruti even carvaka system of nastika(heterodox) schools were not only materialistic but also atheistic.

Now we move to the theistic, monotheistic and polytheistic views which are what now mostly forms present Hindu religion. For an outsider sanatandharma is polytheistic religion where they pray about 33 crore deities but only a true follower knows that it deeply monotheistic as in Santandharam's philosophy each form of living or non living is worshipped as forms of god. A verse from RigVeda clearly states as:

Indraṃ mitraṃ varuṇamaghnimāhuratho divyaḥ sa suparṇo gharutmān, ekaṃ sad viprā bahudhā vadantyaghniṃ yamaṃ mātariśvānamāhuḥ

"They call him Indra, Mitra, Varuṇa, Agni, and he is heavenly nobly-winged Garutmān.To what is one, sages give many a title they call it Agni, Yama, Mātariśvan."   

Sanatandharma is also deeply pantheistic the reason which makes it monotheistic system is the same reason which makes it pantheistic that is a belief that everything composes an all-encompassing, immanent God. Considering rivers, forests, animals, mountains, mother earth and trees as sacred this oneness with nature makes it deeply pantheistic.  Amongst the six darshanams sakhaya and yoga are based on the thoughts of innate and independent realities 1) consciousness itself (Purusha)   2) primordial materiality (Prakriti).Adaivata Vedantism taught about atman (true self; human soul) is indistinct from Brahman (the unknown reality of everything) and hence Adi-Shankara who consolidated vedantism sixth darshanam of sanatan philosophy said those who know the truth are the only brahmins rest all are shudra.

At last we will discuss sanyaas and materialism sanyaas is the stage of renunciation as said by lord Krishna in Bhagvad Gita:"The giving up of activities that are based on material desire is what great learned men call the renounced order of life [sannyas]. And giving up the results of all activities is what the wise call renunciation [tyaga]" Hence Sanyaas is developing vairag from the worldly life and is considered necessary for moksha. Now even there are certain school of thoughts who defend materialism very strongly the most vociferous among them is carvaka school of Nastika(heterodoxy). Carvaka system believed that there was nothing wrong in enjoying pleasure as it decreases your pain and carvaka considered austerity and rejecting pleasure as foolish.

This is santanadharma where there is an argument and a counter argument one may not agree but this is what makes it special as it has an agreement of disagreement governed by an eternal law and that is why even today it can accommodate all the philosophies of modern religion. 

Karna - An Enigma

Karna is by far the most discussed character in Mahabharat was he an Antihero or a hero  , who was better Arjuna or Karna ,Was he right or wrong in siding Durryodhana are the question that strike one when he reads about the legendary warrior.

Let's begin by Karna the warrior who was a better him or Arjuna here I will consider Virata parva where Arjuna defeated all the mighty warriors but on contrary we have to take in mind Karna parva where he defeated all the Pandavas and Arjuna was saved by sunset,Krishma himself and PavanPutra in form of dhavaj on his chariot.But when one considers Virata yuddh one should also consider that Karna never used Vijay Dhanush of Parshuram other than war of Kurukshetra which always gave an edge to Arjuna empowered with Gandiva.So,I would cite other example which could make it a lot more clear during war of Kurukshetra Arjuna's each blow took Karna 10 steps back while Karna's blow could move Arjuna's chariot  just one step back but with lord himself and Pavanputra on same chariot such a feat was for no normal warrior he was of the same class as Arjuna I would say a notch higher.

Now,we should move to character Karna a hero or anti-hero everyone knows about Karna the Dhanveer he who knew Dharma like Dharmaraj Yudhistir himself as once said by Krishna but there were certain flaw also in him especially supporting Duryodhana in Draupadi's chirharan , Killing Abhimanyu in a cowardly manner though Draupadi herself insulted him by calling him sutputra during swayamvar but these two are considered primary reason for his fall.Still these were small compared to his good deeds hence for me he is both hero as well as anti-hero.

Finally whether he should have sided Durryodhana, when whole of society and even his mother who gave him birth rejected him and his talent for being a lower caste it was Durryodhana who gave him the status and made him Angaraj and earned his loyalty for lifetime.But the last days before war were interesting where Krishna makes him aware of the truth of his birth this creates in him soft corner for his brothers Krishna asks him to join Pandavas but Karna declines it as it would be unethical to leave Durryodhana in such trying situation he also knew that if Yuddhistir comes to know that Karna is his elder brother he will give Indraprastha's throne to him and Karna being loyal to Durryodhana will give it instead to him which will be victory of Adharma,hence in this complex situation he had no other option but to fight for Durryodhana.

Indeed Karna's life was an enigma.